Greatest Quote of the Year

"Bungie is like a shark," said Bungie founder Jason Jones. "We have to keep moving to survive. We have to continually test ourselves, or we might as well be dolphins. Or manatees." (Emphasis in the original.) - from Gamespot.com

I know this post is slightly off-topic, but I would like to steer this blog towards more Halo content if at all possible.

Amendment clarification

Article 6 - Minor Leagues

(a) Minor League Player - A minor league player shall be defined as any hitter or pitcher who has not yet qualified as a rookie in accordance with MLB rules (i.e a hitter who has not had 130 ABs or a pitcher who has not pitched 50 IP in any one major league season).
(b) Minor League System - Each Participant has a minor league system. To be eligible for placement in a minor league system, a player must have been selected in a Minor League Draft and must have qualified as a minor league player for the entire preceding year. Players kept in a minor league system do not count towards the keeper limit. At no time may a Participant have more than three players in his minor league system. The Commissioner's post regarding minor league systems on the Blog shall be authoritative.
(c) Minor League Draft - Immediately following the posting of keepers and preceding the auction draft, the Commissioner shall announce the commencement of a one round Minor League Draft. All minor league players are eligible for this draft with the exception of minor league players who have been kept or who are in a Participant's minor league system. The Participant that finished in 10th Place the preceding season shall have top pick, followed by 9th, 8th, et. seq. Each Participant shall have one calendar day to make his pick known via an e-mail addressed to all Participants. In the event that a Participant does not make his pick in his alloted time, his turn shall be skipped. That Participant may make a pick at any time afterwards, but shall forfeit his pick if not made by midnight draft day. The Participant's draft pick shall be added to his minor league system.
(d) Minor League Bench Slot - In connection with the passage of this article, the Constitution shall be amended to include an additional bench slot. Only a player in a Participant's minor league system is eligible to fill the additional roster slot. At all times, this bench slot must either: (1) remain empty; (2) fill the slot with a player from his minor league system; or, (3) fill the slot with a major league player and fill an active slot with a player from his minor league system. In the event that a Participant uses this bench slot for any other purpose, the Commissioner shall impose an appropriate sanction.
(e) Minor League Transactions- A Participant may lose exclusive rights to a minor league player in three ways: (1) the minor league player is added to the Host's player universe and is not added to the Participant's roster at or before 15 days; (2) a Participant notifies the Commissioner prior to the Minor League Draft of his desire to release a player currently in his minor league system in order to free up a spot that will be filled at the upcoming draft; or, (3) a trade. In the event that a Participant picks up a minor league player that another Participant has exclusive rights to, the Commissioner shall nullify the transaction.
(f) Player Cost - Players in a Partipant's minor league system cost $0. In the year that follows a player losing eligibility for a Participant's minor league system, a Participant may keep this player at a cost of $5. In subsequent years, normal keeper rules apply except as otherwise noted in this article.
(g) Franchise Player - In the year immediately following a player losing eligibility for a Participant's minor league system, that particular Participant may tag that player as a "Franchise Player". A Franchise Player may be kept as a fifth keeper as long as this tag has not expired. This tag may only be applied to one player on a Participant's team. This tag expires when applied to another player or when that player is dropped, traded, or not kept. If a Participant declines to apply the Franchise Player tag to a player when he becomes eligible, the tag may not be applied in subsequent years, although that player may be kept according to normal keeper rules.
(h) Effect on YPIA - A Participant may not apply the YPIA tag to a player whose cost is below the normal minimum keeper cost, set at $15.

Rich's Proposed Amendment

Just replicating Rich's proposed amendment as the original post regarding this has been pushed off the front page by (well deserved) tributes to Porkins.

Article 6 - Minor Leagues
(a) Minor League Draft - At a convenient time following the keeper deadline and preceding the auction draft, there shall be a supplemental draft round during which each Participant may draft one free agent minor league player at no cost to his draft day budget. This shall be the only time during the season when minor league players may be claimed outside of the the normal waiver process. The Participant with poorest record the previous season shall have the first pick and the Participant with the best record shall have the last pick, etc.
(b) Minor League Player - A minor league player shall be defined as any pitcher or hitter who has not yet qualified as a rookie according to MLB (a hitter who has not had 130 ABs or a pitcher who has not pitched 50 IP in any one major league season).
(c) At no time may a Participant claim rights to more than three minor league players.
(d) In connection with the passage of this Article, the Constitution shall be amended to add an additional bench slot.
(e) The Participant may lose exclusive rights to a claimed minor league player in three ways: (1) the minor league player is added to the hosting website's player universe and is not added to the Participant's roster within 15 days, (2) the Participant notifies the Commissioner of his desire to release a minor league player to acquire a new one before the Minor League Draft, or (3) a trade.
(f) In YEAR 1, when a player is no longer a minor league player as defined in subsection (b) of this Article, a Participant may keep this player at an initial cost of $5. After YEAR 1, normal keeper rules apply except as noted in (g)-(h) of this Article.
(g) Franchise Player - A Participant may tag one former minor league player exclusively from his team's minor league system as a "Franchise Player." This gives a Participant a potential fifth keeper slot for this limited purpose until such a time when the Participant no longer wants to keep that player.
(h) A Participant may only apply YPIA in year where a former minor league player's value is above the minimum value as noted in Article 4(c) (currently $15). Consequently, YPIA may only be applied in YEAR 3 at the earliest (if the player remains eligible).
(i) Each Participant's minor league system shall be posted on the FLB blog.

Constitutional cleanup

Here is my attempt to trim some fat and clarify some things in the constitution. I will post it here for a bit just in case anyone has any objections. If no one does, it will become the default constitution in a couple of weeks.

Article 1 - Definitions

(a) Managers in this league will henceforth be termed Participants.
(b) Players in major league baseball will henceforth be termed players.
(c) The website where this league is played (Yahoo!) will henceforth be termed Host.
(d) The blog where league news is posted (http://bpguineapigs.blogspot.com/) will henceforth be termed Blog.

Article 2 - General Rules

(a) Roster - Participants begin with 25 roster slots that must be filled as follows: 1 C, 1 1B, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 SS, 5 OF, 1 CI, 1 MI, 1 UTIL, 9 P, 3 BENCH (any position). Once the season begins, a DL slot may be filled by an injured player as made eligible by the Host.
(b) Scoring - Scoring categories are as follows: R, RBI, HR, SB, OBP, W, K, ERA, WHIP, K/BB.
(c) Innings Pitched Limit - IP limit is 1500.
(d) Entry Fee- Participants must pay an entry fee of $25 to the Commissioner, due on March 1. If entry fee is not received by March 1, the Commissioner may find a replacement Participant.
(e) Prizes - Prizes are as follows: 1st Place - $150; 2nd Place - $75; 3rd Place - $25. In the event of a tie, for all purposes the tiebreaker will be the order the teams are listed on the Host.
(f) Waivers - The Participant that finished in 1st Place the preceding season shall have top waiver priority at the start of the season, followed by 2nd, 3rd, et. seq.
(g) Roster Freeze - Rosters are frozen on the last day of the regular season until draft results are posted. Trades may be allowed in the off-season at the discretion of the Commissioner.
(h) Incorporation - These rules are not exhaustive. Additional applicable rules and interpretative material may be found at the Host, the Blog, and elsewhere.

Article 3 - Auction Process

(a) Budget - The total budget for the auction is $260. Dollar values for keepers are subtracted from this total before the start of the auction.
(b) Length - The auction will be comprised of as many rounds as necessary to fill Participants' rosters. (n.b. In 2007, the auction took about 4 hours)
(c) Nomination Order - The Participant who finished in 10th Place the previous season nominates the first player, followed by other Participants in snaking order.
(d) Bidding - A Participant who nominates a player makes the initial bid on that player, which shall be not below $1. A Participant may not nominate a keeper. Another Participant may bid a higher dollar amount in whole dollars. The highest final bid wins the player. Tying bids are not permitted. At no time may a Participant bid more money than would be necessary to fill out all remaining empty roster spots on his team with $1 players.
(e) Bidding Closure - The Commissioner will give two warnings when the bidding slows down that bidding is about to conclude. Then, the Commissioner will call an end to the bidding (e.g. "going...going...gone."). The winning bidder will be awarded the player and his budget will be adjusted accordingly. No bids will be accepted after the Commissioner concludes the bidding.
(f) Remedies - In the event that a Participant bids an amount exceeding his budget according to subsection (d) of this article, this bid will be disallowed at the time it is made. In the event that bidding has already closed on that player, bidding shall be reopened at the last acceptable bid.
(g) Filled Roster - Once a Participant fills his roster with players, he is ineligible for subsequent nomination of or bidding on players.
(h) Final Word - The Commissioner's post regarding auction cost on the Blog shall be authoritative.

Article 4 - Keepers

(a) Keeper Quantity - Each Participant may tag up to 4 players as keepers per year. A Participant may tag as few keepers as desired.
(b) General Keeper Cost - In general, the cost to keep a player is the preceding year's auction cost plus inflation. Inflation is set at $3.
(c) Minimum Keeper Cost - Without exception, the minimum cost for a player tagged as a keeper is $15.
(d) Devaluation Authorization - Keeper cost may be adjusted downward by the amount of time that the player spent injured during the season and/or on waivers. See subsections (e) through (g) of this article for specific devaluation rules. All of these specific devaluation rules may be applied to one player in accordance with subsection (c) of this article.
(e) Waiver Cost Reduction- A player's keeper cost may be reduced by $3 if that player is picked up off of waivers or free agency. Only one waiver cost reduction may be applied per year.
(f) Hitter Injury Cost Reduction - For players who are hitters: A player's keeper cost may be reduced by $6 if he plays in 81 or fewer games due to injury, by $3 if he plays 120 or fewer games but more than 81 games due to injury.
(g) Pitcher Injury Cost Reduction - For players who are starting pitchers: A player’s keeper cost may be reduced by $6 if he starts 17 or fewer games due to injury, by $3 if he is limited to starting fewer than 25 games, but more than 17 games due to injury. Based on the rules above, any necessary devaluation for relief pitchers/ swingmen will be made at the discretion of the Commissioner.
(h) Young Player Inflation Adjustment (YPIA) - Any player whose age is less than or equal to 25 on opening day of the preceding season may be immune from inflation if tagged as a YPIA keeper for one year of his career. Should such a player be retained beyond that season (i.e. into YEAR 3), standard inflation would apply.
(i) Keeper Notice - The deadline for submitting keepers will be posted on the Blog. Submissions made after the deadline will be accepted solely at the Commissioner's discretion. All finalized submissions must be emailed to the Commissioner with the subject line - (Team Name) Keepers. Those emails will remain unopened until the deadline date, at which point all finalized keepers will be posted on the Blog. When a Participant submits his keepers to the Commissioner, Participant must provide a good faith valuation of the keeper. If any circumstances apply besides the general rule regarding inflation, the Participant must justify a deviation from the general rule in this email.
(j) Catastrophe Allowance - In the event that a keeper becomes significantly injured or otherwise unavailable in the time between the deadline for keeper selection and the start of the draft, a Participant may name a replacement keeper if so desired provided that the replacement has been submitted to the Commissioner prior to the start of the draft. The Commissioner reserves the right to review all replacement requests and will determine whether or not a replacement is allowable and warranted under this rule.
(k) Final Word - The Commissioner's post regarding keeper cost on the Blog shall be authoritative.

Article 5 - Commissioner's Powers

(a) Rule Making Power - The Commissioner shall have the power to make any changes to the rules that he deems fit so long as he gives the league adequate notice.
(b) Trade Review Power - The Commissioner shall have the power to veto any trades consummated during or after the season. The Commissioner shall exercise his veto only if the trade is grossly unbalanced.
(c) Remedial Power - The Commissioner shall have the power to impose sanctions on Participants that violate any rules or correct any injustices.
(d) Advice & Consent - Before exercising rule, veto, or remedial power, the Commissioner shall attempt to obtain the advice and consent of an executive committee consisting of at least two other Participants.
(e) Votes - In regard to any of the aforementioned executive actions, any Participant may call for a vote on these actions to be conducted by the Commissioner. 5 votes are required to strike the Commissioner's actions.

Article 6 [reserved]

Article 7 -Amendments

Amended 2007: OBP replaced AVG and K:BB replaced SAVES.
Amended 2007: 1500 IP instead of 1600 IP.
Amended 2008: Special rule for 2007 draft stricken.

Retrospective

Thank you, Matt, for your great addition to Porkins lore on this website. I would also like to thank everyone for a great season. You all stuck with it through our league's growing pains of drafting a constitution, participating in a draft of indeterminate length, and, of course, the daily grind. I feel that this season went a lot smoother than any other in recent memory. I would like to attribute that to the lowered innings pitched limit and elimination of saves which precluded more aggressive transaction tactics. But, it might have just been a personal thing derived from my early insurmountable lead. While there was no 1st place drama and Ryan will have to speak for 2nd place drama, there was plenty of 3rd place drama with 4 teams finishing within 3 points for the money. Good job guys. For those of you who finished at the bottom, your team "moves" were all quite low - you have to "want" it. Hopefully, you'll show up next year hungry. Thanks for the competition. See you in the auction room next year!

Porkins Alter Ego

Now that the season is over, it is the time for reflection. I choose to reflect on Porkins himself, because my season was not gratifying.

* Porkins' name is a big part of what makes him great. Obviously. But his terran alter ego's name is almost as good- Bill Hootkins.
*Bill Hootkins has established his greatness simply by being Porkins. But he has repeatedly proven how awesome he is- In addition to critical roles in Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark and The West Wing, he was the voice for numerous Everquest II characters, including "male barbarian merchant" and "male dark elf". He also did voiceover work in Evil Dead: A Fistful of Boomstick. Prestigious, to say the least.
*Hootkins studied astrophysics and Chinese linguistics at Princeton University. This explains how he was able to so effectively handle advanced X-Wing technology. Until he blew up.
*Although "official records" cite his cause of death in 2005 as pancreatic cancer, those of us who know him know that he died of a broken heart. Living as Hootkins when at your core you are truly Porkins is too much for any man.

2007 Final Standings

1. Rich(Replacement Levelers) ----- 93
2. Ryan(Boston Doodles) ----------- 72.5
3. Brandon(Maniacal Mets) -------- 65
4. Jeff(Smooth Segues) -------------64
5 Matt(TINSTAAP) --------------- 63
6. Dave(PECOTA Monkeys)-------- 62
7. Justin(Maykuu no Shoutai) ------ 52
8. Vadim(donkeys) ---------------- 34.5
9. James(LeetSauceII) ------------ 23.5
10. Mike(Norcal Peaceniks) ------- 20.5